Here is the first excerpt from my children's story "Star, of Esperanza 1". I am in the middle of writing it and this is an un-edited first draft. I hope you enjoy it.Star, of Esperanza I
Arrival
Star’s rocket jettisoned past the glittery stars, with no time for sight seeing. Her mission was one of great importance and she knew she must stay focused on her goal, the planet Esperanza. Here was the new hope for mankind, a place where exotic jungles grew lush, where sparkling water could be found, where pure oxygen was there for the breathing and where the red earth was rich and soft and deep.
Earth was old and decaying, choking on evil blue fumes and brown smoke, the soil pale and dry, spoiled by man’s greed and ignorance. Earth was spent. Sadly, it was time to move on.
Excitement filled the cabin of the Esperanza I, named after the new planet they were headed for. Star averted her eyes from the splendid sun, which had supported the Earth for all of time. It burned brightly for Esperanza also, surrounding them with a fiery red, orange and yellow glow.
She lay her head on her arms and slept, knowing that tomorrow they would enter the atmosphere of Esperanza. She would need all of her wits about her. All of her energy.
Star was an astronaut, but she was also one of the special few. Many astronauts had lined up for the task of travelling to Esperanza, but few had measured up. The reason was simple. Star was a positive one. She had long ago shed the negative thoughts and the limiting beliefs that could prevent a person from succeeding.
So many people on Earth were depleted and depressed and despondent. Star had learned from her gifted parents to open up her heart and use the energy that pulsated, vibrated and shone out among the stars and planets and even in those dark places hidden out there in this universe and in the universe beyond that. That energy was there to be used. You just needed to know how to tune in, how to deflect dark, negative thoughts and flip them over till they flew out shining and positive.
Star had been the only one to believe that Esperanza was the true hope for people on Earth. Research had led her to develop plans for farming, shelter and transport and she had a natural ability for leadership. The AstroCouncil knew that Star would be the perfect, and in fact, the only choice for the people of Earth. And so it was that she found herself on this mission that was of great importance to all.
The alarm on Star’s wrist alerted her to a morning filled with the bright lights in the cabin of her spacecraft. The familiar glow of the screens and the flickering and beeping indicated that all was well with their journey. Britt, Star’s second-in-command greeted her warmly.
“Take a look”, she said, “Esperanza is in sight”.
Star hesitated briefly, knowing that this was a moment of huge importance. Britt was right. A glorious orb, vibrating with energy, surrounded by a huge aura, took up the entire screen before them. Star thought that Esperanza looked like Earth must have done at the dawn of time.
“So beautiful!” was all Star could think of to say. Their spacecraft continued to head towards this new and exciting planet. As they came closer, they could see that there were oceans blue and deep. There were vast land masses, interrupted by snow topped mountain ranges, rivers blue like the veins in your arm and smooth, glassy lakes. Vegetation hugged the land, rich and green and plentiful.
Arrival
Star’s rocket jettisoned past the glittery stars, with no time for sight seeing. Her mission was one of great importance and she knew she must stay focused on her goal, the planet Esperanza. Here was the new hope for mankind, a place where exotic jungles grew lush, where sparkling water could be found, where pure oxygen was there for the breathing and where the red earth was rich and soft and deep.
Earth was old and decaying, choking on evil blue fumes and brown smoke, the soil pale and dry, spoiled by man’s greed and ignorance. Earth was spent. Sadly, it was time to move on.
Excitement filled the cabin of the Esperanza I, named after the new planet they were headed for. Star averted her eyes from the splendid sun, which had supported the Earth for all of time. It burned brightly for Esperanza also, surrounding them with a fiery red, orange and yellow glow.
She lay her head on her arms and slept, knowing that tomorrow they would enter the atmosphere of Esperanza. She would need all of her wits about her. All of her energy.
Star was an astronaut, but she was also one of the special few. Many astronauts had lined up for the task of travelling to Esperanza, but few had measured up. The reason was simple. Star was a positive one. She had long ago shed the negative thoughts and the limiting beliefs that could prevent a person from succeeding.
So many people on Earth were depleted and depressed and despondent. Star had learned from her gifted parents to open up her heart and use the energy that pulsated, vibrated and shone out among the stars and planets and even in those dark places hidden out there in this universe and in the universe beyond that. That energy was there to be used. You just needed to know how to tune in, how to deflect dark, negative thoughts and flip them over till they flew out shining and positive.
Star had been the only one to believe that Esperanza was the true hope for people on Earth. Research had led her to develop plans for farming, shelter and transport and she had a natural ability for leadership. The AstroCouncil knew that Star would be the perfect, and in fact, the only choice for the people of Earth. And so it was that she found herself on this mission that was of great importance to all.
The alarm on Star’s wrist alerted her to a morning filled with the bright lights in the cabin of her spacecraft. The familiar glow of the screens and the flickering and beeping indicated that all was well with their journey. Britt, Star’s second-in-command greeted her warmly.
“Take a look”, she said, “Esperanza is in sight”.
Star hesitated briefly, knowing that this was a moment of huge importance. Britt was right. A glorious orb, vibrating with energy, surrounded by a huge aura, took up the entire screen before them. Star thought that Esperanza looked like Earth must have done at the dawn of time.
“So beautiful!” was all Star could think of to say. Their spacecraft continued to head towards this new and exciting planet. As they came closer, they could see that there were oceans blue and deep. There were vast land masses, interrupted by snow topped mountain ranges, rivers blue like the veins in your arm and smooth, glassy lakes. Vegetation hugged the land, rich and green and plentiful.
The planet turned imperceptibly, just like Earth. Britt and Star’s eyes met - no need for words this time. This was only the very beginning of their adventure. Soon, they would learn so much more about this intriguing place they would be calling home. Star knew both beauty and danger would await them on their arrival. They had planned for this for such a long time and were ready.
As a "read out loud" veteran, this reads really well to me. I'm happy to test drive it with my class - keep going!
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